Finally, we are out of Vietnam, which is nowhere near the kind of place my grandfather described to me. Strange. Anyways, Juan took us to New Zealand, which I guess is an upgrade from Old Zealand. I’m so glad we didn’t go there!
Andi got the Juan-on-Juan date. WTF? I don’t know what I have to do anymore to get Juan’s attention. Maybe I should dance more like I did with that K-pop group…that seemed to get him to like me. Apparently, when Andi got back she said that her and Juan went through the maze from the Goonies and ended up under a waterfall and then made out. The date sounded ok. I’m more jelly that they kissed because he hasn’t kissed me yet. I hope he kisses me soon. Except for in the ocean…Clare said bad things happen with Juan Pablo and oceans are together. Wonder what she means???? She did mention that she got exploded on by a geyser. Is that code for something?
The group date was fun. Juan made us enter these giant water wombs and roll down this HUGE hill. It was awesome except for at the end we had to be birthed out of them. EWWW GROSS! My mom told me about that kinda stuff and she said, “Kit Kat, don’t ever get old!” Of course I’ll never get old…have you seen me? Shows what she knows. Screw you mom!
Juan has such unique and interesting tastes for his dates. After the water wombs, he took us to these little people’s houses that said was part of a movie or something. I’m not sure, but I love how much he cares for those less fortunate. I was hoping he was gonna show us this documentary about the midget’s lives, but instead he just wanted us to drink more wine and eat finger foods in their front yard. RUDE!!!
This week Cassandra kept telling us that it was her 22nd birthday. I lost count of how many times I rolled my eyes. WE GET IT CASS! You’re 22. you’re young and still look gorgeous, but jokes on you – you’ve got a kid! HAHA! I think I was sad when Juan kicked Cass off on her bday, but I can’t really remember. I know I made a promise to myself to never cry on the show unless Juan is around to see it. So far, he’s never been around. 😦
I’m so over Clare getting special treatment. Just because she said that her and Juan will always have the ocean…DUH CLARE, you can’t have all the oceans! That’s science stupid!!! Clare is the kind of girl I want to see trip and fall on her face because I would laugh a lot, which my therapist says calms my inner demons (whoever those are). I really hope that I get some alone time with Juan and I don’t care if I have to get in water to prove to him that I think I kinda like him and might possibly want to get to know him better. I dunno. I just wanna win this game and get my spin-off reality TV show. I think it’s only fair!
Well, I gotta go. I just was able to sneak away for a couple of minutes while Sharleen and Juan went off together. I hope they don’t have one of those weird kisses again. I’m sure they’ve figured out where each other’s mouths go by now? amiright?
UH OH, Chris Harrison just came into our room and said it’s almost time for the rose ceremony. He’s such a creeper, but I dunno, if this Juan thing doesn’t work out………..I might.
I will write again after Juan gives me a rose tonight. I’m certain that he will because let’s face it…look at me? SCREW YOU MOM! I’ll show her!