Bachelorette Recap: Week 3 & 4

Episode 3 was just okay. Nothing crazy happened in a post-Craig house. The boys were pretty well behaved and were faced with the task of singing, “I’ll Make Love To You” by Boys II Men…by the way, they had to sing it with the actual remaining members of BIIM! Bravo ABC….you outdid yourself on that one. That was a class move. 
It cannot be sad enough how bad these guys were. They were awful, but they tried and it was endearing to a point, but there is no return from hearing Cody sing the line, “Pour the wine…” in his whisper/speak voice. Just creepy. Shout out to Marquel and Tasos for owning the stage as they sang and an honorable mention to Josh M. for pulling the predictable move of badly singing the fact that you forgot the words to one of the most famous R&B songs in history. Mind you, this is the song we all should have a story of how we made out in middle school to (show of hands?). But I get it Josh, you’re in it for that final rose. 
Play on playa! 

The rest of this episode is pretty much filler. Nothing to see here except a mediocre rose ceremony that let us watch Ron (who again??), Bradley, who needed to leave, no one loves an opera singer, who I finish barely above magicians for jobs that people hate to witness {Exception: Sharlene from last season. She was ok} and weird faux-mullet Brett. See, I told you it wasn’t interesting. 
Episode 4 was slightly better. Why you might wonder? Because the world was introduced to Andi’s “bore-face.” What’s that? Don’t worry…I gotcha. Behold.

At first, you think during her date with Dylan that it can be best expressed as her facial expression above, however, with time, D-man was able to open up about a truly wrenching family tragedy that happened months before he went on the show. This can only lead to him not being on the show for too much longer. She swore up and down that she didn’t give him the “pity rose” but, yeah, she totally did. Moving on…

Andi felt like she needed to stir the pot a bit between the guy’s budding bromance so she enacted a basketball pickup game against some WNBA All-Stars and then against each other.

The Teams:

Rosebuds:        VS.            5 of Hearts

Brian                                   Josh
Marquel                               JJ
Andy                                   Chris
Cody                                   Patrick
Nick V.                               Tasos
Team Rosebud had the runaway win thanks to MVP Brian who was raining down 3s on all of the unsuspecting amateurs. He is a high school ball coach after all that insisted on playing point, a little 2-guard and even dropped down in the paint for some low post time when needed. Not very attractive, but I liked him on this date. He was in his element. Nice job Coach! You and your team deserve to celebrate like champions.
The losers, however, not so much……

(notice the beers in their hands…tsk tsk)

These guys look like they lost Game 7 of the NBA Finals at home. Piss poor gents. Geez, somebody throw a chair for crying out loud! 

Towards the end of the episode, Eric found himself on the wrong end of a shovel after digging his own grave while talking with Andi during some Juan-on-Juan time. He flat out told her that she wore a poker-face for most of the time they were together and that she was acting for the camera and then attempted to backtrack, but just ended up tripping over his own words again. It was clearly over before it began and was painful to watch, made worse by the fact that Eric is no longer with us in this life. R.I.P. However, I see what he was trying to convey, but simply did a horrible job doing so. He misread and mislabeled Andi’s “bore-face” for a “poker-face.” That’s an amateur She was just simply bored since their first date. It’s okay Eric, we saw it too when she was around you…UH OH…HERE IT COMES AGAIN! (insert Jaws theme)

The Bachelorette pulled the rug from under our couches next by NOT showing a rose ceremony in honor of Eric. I like the angle from ABC and Chris Harrison by interviewing Andi and celebrating his time on the show, despite being only four weeks. It was a nice touch, but I would be remiss if I didn’t say that I really wanted to see a rose ceremony. There is just something about seeing grown men cry in an exit interview. 
We said goodbye to Eric and Tasos. 
Parting Thoughts:

JJ had a shirt with his own name on it because that’s what Pantsepreneurs do!
During the basketball game, Patrick’s hair never moved.
Chris has now perfected the art of going FULL McLaughlin 

(Definition of Full McLaughlin:(n); Latin; When one can make their face resemble that of the animals in a animal shelter commercial that has music accompaniment by Sarah McLaughlin)

The Bachelorette is on a two week break. Until then…and you’re welcome for “full McLaughlin.” Use it at parties and amongst your friends. 

Bachelorette Fantasy League Update:


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