Scared Sleepless: Action

Day 2: Planet Terror


   Nothing makes me want to keep watching a movie like a four minute intro for the movie. Now before I say anything else about it I know its a Grindhouse film and its supposed to look all gritty, lots of overacting, buckets of blood, cheesy one liners, and explosions, but I guess thats what you need for a horror movie. All cops need the guns they have in this movie. Six shooters that have like 30 bullets in them. Planet Terror is full of winners, such as the mom of the year who gives her kid a gun (who then shoots himself in the head), a stripper without a leg, an assassin who speaks in a low voice and can spin guns really fast, crappy cops,  a doctor who steals testicals, and Bruce Willis who I’m pretty sure was playing himself. My favorite part was that Quentin Tarantino (my favorite director) was an actor in the movie. I guess if you like crappy story lines and a higher budget for fake blood than for actors then this is your movie. 
Side note, The guys name is El Ray which is the name of Robert Rodriguez (The director) TV Channel.


   This sucked. I love Robert Rodriguez and I love how this movie got made, but loving how and actually sitting and watching the result are completely different things. As far as the Grindhouse genre is concerned, Planet Terror was perfect, but it was also meant for the 70s and it does not translate well into this era. The context is lost.
   However, the gore was amazing! The action sub genre of horror was never meant to be believable it was meant to be fun and Terror fits this mold perfectly. We get another Greg Nicotero makeup FX sighting (The Walking Dead) and he doesn’t disappoint. Every piece of skin oozing with puss and goo mixed with blood is enough to make you cringe and you have to give them credit for sparing no expense on blood squibs. HINT: there’s a LOT of blood The climax of this comes during Quentin Tarantino’s role which I’m not going to spoil, but it is gross!
   Planet Terror was the movie in our marathon that I was least excited to watch and now that it’s over I can move onto better ones. I’m just happy it’s at the beginning of this marathon and we aren’t ending this with it….ughhhh….that would be the worst.
Parting Thoughts:
 – gets TWO STARS based on the M.V.A.S.S.F.M. (Mental Vacation Advanced Scoring System For Movies) 
 Brolin = Worst Doctor Ever!
– good story/gore/decent acting …all things we look for in a horror movie. 2 out of 3 ain’t bad
– there was a jar of testicles
– how did Cherry pull the trigger on her leg gun?
– what was that Barbecue recipe

 Is it bad that I couldn’t even really watch this movie? How about making a crappy movie… useless talent #86. But much like the discussions I have had about this movie the gore is so right it isn’t even funny.  The boils the bumps all amazing. But the move it self is so bad I don’t think you can get much worse. I would rather watch children of the corn 4 times in a role in French. I can honestly say that I don’t think I finished watching 4 mins of this movie without being distracted. The gun is top notch though. Who wouldn’t love to have a gun that you couldn’t really lose.

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