The Bachelor begins…..again

 

 

 

 

the-bachelor

 

 

 

    Well, another season, another Bachelor looking for “love” and by love I would translate that into: looking to raise his celebrity profile high enough in Hollywood to get him onto the next season of Dancing with the Stars. To which I would recommend that show be renamed to: We’ll take who we can get………but I digress…

 

     It’s a new season and with that comes new ladies fighting for one man’s attention, in this case, Nick Viall. For the record, his name is pronounced: V-I-L-E so that alone is enough for me to root against him. 

     The premiere offered nothing new that we haven’t seen as avid watchers of this reality show, however, I thought it was very interesting how much they kept going back to the well about his torrid past with former Bachelorettes as well as just being an all-around American Douchebag. I gotta give credit to the ABC producers for at least trying to hammer it into the audience that there is some shred of decency in this guy, but when I say shred, I’m really thinking it was the same amount as Darth Vader had when Luke turned him good right at the last minute right before he died….c’mon……Nick’s not a good guy. We all know it and he should embrace it. At least that would be something to watch this season that we haven’t seen in awhile. 

     I’m not going to break down all of the episode because it was pretty run of the mill. Plus, I have all season to go on a deep dive with The Bachelor. I’ll just save some of my material until then. For now, I’m just going to gloss over some of the observations I had and talk about this season’s sizzle reel.

 

 

 

  • I really miss Luke and hate how Nick was picked at the last minute. Shady business deals went down better than the next Bachelor was chosen. 

142736_0741h2016

 

  • Coitus Count: Andy, (most likely) Kaitlyn and Liz and that’s not counting any girls from Bachelor in Paradise

  • The Bachelor 4 are a horrible mix of sadness and goofiness. 

BEN HIGGINS, NICK VIALL, SEAN LOWE, CHRIS SOULES

  • “I’m gonna give America a Happy Ending.” -Nick. Best quote of the night and probably the season 

nick-viall

  • first 30min is an apology to the audience watching….ughhh

  • They always recruit people from Canada. Wonder if there’s more to that?

  • Dolphin or Shark? They kept trying to make this a thing….just send her home Nick. Don’t even worry about it. 

alexis-dolphin

  • “You’re milking it aren’t you?” – Nick to the dolphin girl. This is telling for several reasons. Nick understands a good bit and when it’s failing. I think he made her stay in it to embarrass her ( I like that) and he knows that she’s doing it for even more attention and not necessarily from him. 

  • Uncooked hotdogs are gross.

uncooked-hotdog

  • “My heart is in my a** now” – some girl. 

  • I don’t choose to learn any of the girls names until the 2nd episode b/c what’s the point???

  • Dolphinately” that’s a word I want to use in normal conversation now starting today.

  • I can’t stand Nick’s voice. He’s a mumbler. 

mumbler

  • Corrine’s Bag O’ Tokens…. I wonder how many you have to cash in to get an STD? (Answer: Just one)

  • Jasmine G. looks like Janelle Monae

 

  • I talk to my cat the same way Josephine talks to hers.

giphy

 

 

SIZZLE REEL

 

There is going to be a LOT of kissing on this season. I know, I know it’s every season, but you can clearly tell Nick is not in this thing to get married therefore he’s gonna enjoy himself at the ladies’ expense. 

Finland. The lands where dreams and love go to freeze.

Corrine topless by episode two. Not shocked. 

Backstreet Boys concert. (Nostalgia side of me is internally screaming)

Corrine versus Taylor in a major fight. I’m glad because I feel like this season could have too many “mature” ladies and that’s just not good for a Bachelor house.

Corrine keeps saying the lines: “I run a multi-million dollar company.” and “I have a nanny.” She’s going to get roasted by the others for that. Get your popcorn ready. 

Nick has that one moment that everyone has every season; am I doing this for the right reasons? I question all of your commitment. I’m here for love, blah, blah.

 

 

 

     As always, we run a fantasy league that allows each team to pick 6 ladies and run with them all season or as long as they last on the show. Each episode is scored based on what they do or don’t do plus bonus points, etc. It’s a lot of fun and we often chat as a group in real time during each episode. This season looks to have a couple of gems amongst the other turds. Fingers crossed that someone worthy of The Bachelorette will rise from the ashes of the losers. Also, keep checking back each week as I try my best to do the least in my recaps. 

 

Oh, and one more thing………………….

 

LONG LIVE OLIVIA!

 

olivia

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One thought on “The Bachelor begins…..again

  1. This was golden, from the one token STD to the land where dreams and love go to freeze – I am sooo looking forward to all of these recaps! LOLLLL

    Like

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